i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
