i may or may not be watching the land before time
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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