You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
