Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
