And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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