dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
