exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
