So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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