a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
