Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
