dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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