Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
