I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
