I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
