I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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