He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
