Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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