There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
