We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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