I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
