butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
