Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
