and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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