i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
