You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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