Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
