4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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