do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
