never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
