Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
