If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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