talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
