rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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