So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
