Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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