Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize