capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
