He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
