do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
nutella sex= disaster
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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