im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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