the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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