So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
