the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
