if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
