hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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