I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
