I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
