Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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