why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
