You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
