I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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