The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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