Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
