You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
