how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
