im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
