I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
