he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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