You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
