Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
