You can't motorboat a personality
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
