I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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