Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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