I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
