there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
