i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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