dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
